Hotel Lyoko
by Max Salsa
Summary: Songfic to Hotel California. The gang gets in trouble during a routine mission, but can Jeremie interfere at all? Rated for existing song lyrics.


Hotel Lyoko

by NeoDude

Disclaimer: I don't own CL, The Eagles, or Hotel California. But thanks for caring.

Rated K+ for a word that may be considered slightly offensive... in the song.

o o o

"Guys, Aelita's feeling pulsations in the Forest... I'm going to send you there. Be careful." Jeremie called out his routine pre-flight pep talk into the headset mic as he sent the gang out. "Scanner, Ulrich. Scanner, Yumi. Scanner, Odd. Transfer, Ulrich. Transfer, Yumi. Transfer, Odd." All their data, normal, came onto the screen as he went. "Virtualization!" Three bright flashes went off downstairs. "And now that that's done..." Jeremie opened a music program on the supercomputer, selecting a song from the database of millions.

"Nothing here, Einstein. We're going to head to the tower now," Odd called up.

"OK, go ahead. Looks clear from here." He switched off the mic and settled in for a short ride to the tower, and a shorter trip to the past. XANA had attacked by possessing several cartons of toilet paper and opening them to get to the rolls inside. While this wasn't nearly as lethal as some of his other plans, it still called for action. Meanwhile, the music started playing through the factory, and Jeremie considered how odd it was that they fit...

_On a dark desert highway_

_Cool wind in my hair_

_Warm smell of colitas_

_Rising up through the air_

He pulled up a web browser and had it look for the definition of "colitas" while his friends ran on in a minimized window. But they had other problems than a lack of guidance.

"Whoa... Megatanks!" Ulrich called, spotting the five silver globes. "Everyone, scatter!"

_Up ahead, in the distance_

_I saw a shimmering light_

Yumi failed to get out of the way, and was hit by the five red blasts. She broke into a wireframe and disappeared.

_My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim_

_I had to stop for the night..._

Jeremie's search result came back with sites to buy drugs, so he closed the window and found Yumi gone... but not downstairs. "What in the world?" A chime alerted him that she was... in a tower somewhere?

_There she stood in the doorway_

_I heard the mission bell_

"That can't be right... and yet..."

_And I was thinking to myself,_

"_This could be heaven or this could be hell..."_

He heard a voice in his headset speaker. "I'm sorry, Jeremie..." Yumi turned and walked away.

_Then she lit up the candle_

_And she showed me the way_

A message popped up on the screen. "Fool. I am in control now."

Jeremie paled. "XANA..."

_There were voices down the corridor_

_Thought I heard them say..._

Meanwhile, his song had reached the chorus... and realizing that what was going on was eerily similar to the words of the song, he listened more closely, trying to remember the lyrics.

_Welcome to the Hotel California_

_Such a lovely place_

_Such a lovely face_

_There's plenty of room at the Hotel California_

_Any time of year_

_You can find it here_

For lack of dangerous lyrics, he opened up the window on Lyoko to find that the two leftover warriors were taking care of the Megatanks, but it didn't look like it was going well. There were two of them left. "Guys! I think this might be bad..."

_Her mind is Tiffany twisted_

_She got the Mercedes-Benz_

Jeremie thought of Sissi... she fit the profile, though the car was a bit out of her reach. He wouldn't put it past Principal Delmas to have one, though, what with tuition being as high as it was these days, and teacher salaries as low.

_She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys_

_That she calls friends_

_How they dance in the courtyard_

_Sweet summer sweat_

_Some dance to remember_

_Some dance to forget_

Jeremie was set that this was Sissi. But back at the school, the girl in question was sleeping peacefully. She was dreaming about having finally convinced Ulrich to be with her, and the two were dancing in the gym, and she was about as happy as she could possibly be. However, her father was trying to wake her up, but wasn't responding to him at all, not even when he tried shaking her or dumping water on her. He called for Dorothy right away as he began to panic...

_So I called up the captain_

_Please bring me my wine_

_And he said,_

"_We haven't had that spirit here since 1969"_

"Jeremie! Jeremie!" Ulrich called frantically.

_And still those voices are calling from far away_

_Wake you up in the middle of the night_

_Just to hear them say..._

As the chorus played again, Jeremie snapped out of his trance. "Yes, Ulrich?"

"I think we have a problem..."

Jeremie glanced at the screen to find the two in an empty field, surrounded by an army of Blocks, with Aelita between them. "Yeah, that's a problem..."

_Welcome to the Hotel California_

_Such a lovely place_

_Such a lovely face_

_They're living it up at the Hotel California_

_What a nice surprise_

_Bring your alibis_

"This is it... it's all up to you, guys!" Jeremie called out to them. Aelita put up a shield of solid rock for 50 HP, and the other two charged, firing and slashing in every direction.

_Mirrors on the ceiling_

_Pink champagne on ice_

_And he said,_

"_We are all just prisoners here_

_Of our own device"_

_In the master's chambers_

_They gathered for the feast_

_They stab it with their steely knives_

_But they just can't kill the beast_

Indeed, Odd and Ulrich were in trouble, and Aelita was about to lose her rock of protection.

_Last thing I remember, I was running for the door_

_I had to find the passage back to the place I was before_

"_Relax," said the nightman,_

"_We are programmed to receive"_

Jeremie could only watch in horror as Odd and Ulrich were knocked off the side of the arena, and Aelita took about 20 lasers in the chest. And at that moment, Jeremie remembered the last two lines, and fell to one knee in defeat.

"_You can check out any time you like,_

_But you can never leave!"_

o o o

Yes, crappy, I know. But enjoy anyway... leave a review so my next one is better. And no, if you're from LF, this is not related to the thread in the Games forum. Anyway, I'm Neo, and this is WNEO...


End file.
